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It’s showtime! Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout sex-dating as a tractor-drivin’ Beetlejuice, ha! I’m plowin’ fields all day, sweaty, dirty, thinkin’ bout them apps—y’know, Tinder, Bumble, whatever’s swipin’ folks into bed. Sex-dating’s wild, man, it’s like "The Social Network" but hornier. Like Zuckerberg says, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies”—swap "friends" for "hookups," and boom, that’s the game! I’m out here, revvin’ my engine, tryna find a gal who don’t mind mud on my boots.

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from a tourist. They’re lost, like, really lost. “Where’s the castle?” they ask. I’m like, “You mean the Castello di Monte Sant Angelo? It’s right up the hill!” But they’re all confused. I’m thinking, “How do you get lost in a small town?” But hey, it’s a beautiful castle, so I can’t blame ‘em.

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