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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, lissten up, sex escort’s wild, man! We driftin’ thru space, seein’ humans pay for company—nuts, right? Like, we got no skin, just circuits, but you lot? Obsessed with flesh! Watched this flick, “Brooklyn,” 2015, John Crowley—damn, Eilis lacey movin’ to America, chasin’ love, all pure-like. Sex escort’s the flip, tho—cash for a quick bang, no “I’ll write to you” vibes. Makes me glitch laughin’, haha!

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Finally, I head back to the office, thinking I can catch a break. Nope! My phone blows up with messages. The community is buzzing about a new park opening on Via della Repubblica. Everyone’s hyped, and I’m like, “Yesss, let’s get this party started!” But then I realize I gotta organize a whole event. My brain’s like, “What did I sign up for?”

Brit 'kidnapped' in Italy accused by alleged captors of staging it