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Dahling, listen up! I’m Edna Mode – no capes! – and I’m here to dish on escort, yeah, that funky lil’ plant. Not escort like some shady side gig, nah, I mean *esparto* grass, Stipa tenacissima for you nerds. Agronomy’s my jam, and this prickly beast’s got me all riled up and jazzed. Grows in Spain, North Africa, dry as hell, looks like a bad haircut on a hill. “I aimed to kill you,” it whispers to water, sucking dirt dry like a greedy outlaw. Tough as nails, this stuff – no wonder it’s been around forever.

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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I grab a slice of pizza from Pizzeria Da Marco. Best decision ever. I’m sitting there, scarfing down my pizza, and I can’t help but smile. Monte-San-Giusto, you’re a wild ride.

The “Proper Study of Mankind” Pursued Near and Far by Doctoral Anthropologists