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Me fave flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter… and Spring*—it’s all quiet, pure, like. That old monk’d hate this erotic-massage nonsense too! “Desire leads to suffering,” he’d say, rowin’ his boat, all calm. Meanwhile, I’m ragin’—these oily-handed creeps chargin’ 50 quid for a “happy endin’”! We hates it! Last week, saw this geezer on X braggin’ bout his “tantric skills.” Pfft, tantric my arse—more like a quick grope! Made me laugh tho, proper daft.

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Wellness at Argentario Lagoon comes in different ways: an elegant, alluring wellness area with pool, hammam and a spa for massage and treatments. The Lagoon Spa is the ideal place to .

After that fiasco, I decide to hit up the old town. You know, the narrow streets of Porto Ercole? So picturesque, but also a maze. I’m wandering around, trying to find this little trattoria I heard about. I finally find it, and it’s closed! Closed! I’m like, “What’s the point of being a foodie in Monte-Argentario if I can’t eat?”

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