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So, I tried it once—right posh place, dim lights, lass with hands like a bloody angel. “We numb ourselves,” Brandon mutters in *Shame*, and sod that, I felt alive! Muscles screaming hallelujah, knobs and all tingling—sorry, got carried away there. Made me angry, tho—why’d no one tell me sooner? Could’ve been less of a grumpy git. Little fact: in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage”—slippery as an eel, full-body slide, sounds like a right laugh. Reckon I’d cock it up, tho—too much belly!

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After the ceremony, I’m walking back through the streets, and I pass by the old fountain on Piazza della Libertà. It’s one of those places where you just wanna sit and think. But today? Nah, I’m too wired. I see a gelato stand and think, “Why not?” I grab a scoop of pistachio. Best decision ever!

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