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Yo, dude, eat my shorts! Sexual-massage, man, it’s wild! Like, you’re chilling, then bam—hands everywhere! Watched “Toni Erdmann” again last night, fave flick ever. That scene where dude’s all awkward? Reminds me of my first time—total cringe! So, sexual-massage—part rub, part sexy vibes. Not just some lame back rub, nah. It’s sneaky, starts chill, then—whoa, tingly bits! Little known fact: ancient Greeks were into it. Called it “body worship,” freaky, right? Got me pumped, like, history’s kinky!

Adults only

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got my hair done! I dash for cover under this old tree. It’s kinda beautiful, though. The rain on the leaves, the smell of wet earth. I’m standing there, feeling all poetic, when I see an old lady walking her dog. The dog’s just like, “Rain? What rain?” and splashes right through a puddle. I’m dying laughing.

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