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About Bologna

I’m chattin her up, right, and she’s all “50 quid, guv.” Bargain, I think – cheaper than a bloody Aston Martin tune-up. “Let’s get outta here, sport,” I say, quotin good ol’ Royal again. She’s smirkin, I’m buzzin – it’s a deal. But mate, the stench of cheap perfume? Ugh, made me wanna gag – worse than Blofeld’s lair.

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I’m tryin’ to fix it, but it’s like it has a mind of its own. I’m sweatin’ bullets, cursing under my breath. “C’mon, you old hunk of metal!” I’m practically begging it. Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco strolls in. He’s got that goofy grin, and I’m like, “Dude, not now!” But he’s all hyped about some festival in the piazza. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, but my furnace is about to blow!”

Italian mayor tells Muslims to stop bathing fully clothed at beach