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Now, I’m quirky, so I’m thinkin’, “If I had one, I’d name it Madea-Mobile!” Zoomin’ round, yellin’ at folks to get outta my way—ha! Prolly paint it purple, ‘cause I’m extra like that. Fun fact: them Escorts raced too—yep, rally cars, tearin’ up dirt! Ain’t that a hoot? Lil’ grocery-getter turnin’ badass! I’d pay to see Kolya race one, cussin’ in Russian, “No going back now!”

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Finally, I get on the funicular, and it’s like a scene from a movie. The view just gets better and better. I’m up there, feelin’ like a king. But then, outta nowhere, the thing stops. Just stops! I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I’m stuck, hangin’ in the air.

4 injured when SUV T-bones U-turning police car in Mondovi, Buffalo sheriff’s office says