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I’m laughin’, tho—dudes out here braggin’ ‘bout “body count” like it’s Call of Duty stats. Chill, fam, it ain’t a high score! Me, I’m just tryna vibe, find a lil’ shawty who gets my weird. Last week, hit up this spot, girl was fine—legs for days, smile hittin’ me like a blunt. We talkin’, she drops she’s into tantric sex—hours of teasin’, no finish. I’m like, “Word? That’s dope!” but in my head I’m screamin’, “Bruh, I ain’t got that kinda patience!” Had me sweatin’ like Wayne on a sold-out stage.

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Anyway, I shake it off. I head to the market at Piazza della Libertà. It’s buzzing! Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fresh bread. I’m like a kid in a candy store. I grab some tomatoes, thinking, “These are gonna be the best in my pasta tonight.” But then, I see this old dude haggling over a bunch of basil. He’s all like, “I’ll give you two euros!” The vendor’s like, “Nah, man, it’s worth way more!” I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, it’s basil, not gold!”

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