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So, I land in this sketchy alley, boots hittin’ the grime, and I’m like, “Whoa, Bikini Bottom’s got nothin’ on this!” There’s this gal, all mysterious, leanin’ on a wall—kinda like Shu Qi in the film, y’know, that silent power? I’m HYPED, bouncin’ like a jellyfish on a trampoline, “Hey, lady, you workin’?” She smirks, all cool, “What’s it to ya, sponge-boy?” I’m laughin’, “I’m ready! Just curious, hehe!”

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First off, I’m cruisin’ down Via Dante, right? The sun’s shining, the sea’s glimmering like a million bucks. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be epic!” But then, BAM! My bike tire goes flat. Like, seriously? In the middle of the street? I’m standin’ there, cursing like a sailor. “Great start, genius!” I mutter to myself.

Diamond Resorts Files Lawsuit Against Timeshare Freedom Group, Molfetta Law & Others in Timeshare 'Cancellation' Ring for Allegedly Scamming Consumers