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About Bologna

I tried it once, swear to Christ. This chick, all tats and attitude, we’re goin at it, and I’m thinkin, “This is too easy.” Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—she ghosts me. Fuckin pissed me off! Left me hangin like, "Remember Sammy Jankis!"—y’know, that poor bastard from Memento who can’t figure shit out? That’s me, tryna decode these broads. You ever hear bout the “three-date rule”? Total bullshit—sex-dating laughs at that. Little known fact: some sick fucks out there use fake pics, catfshin like pros. Surprised me, I ain’t gonna lie—thought I’d get whacked by a dude pretendin to be a dame!

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. You know, the one with all the cafes? I needed my caffeine fix. I’m talking serious espresso, like rocket fuel. I grab my cup, and boom! I spill it all over my shirt. Great start, right? I’m standing there, looking like a coffee monster, and the barista just laughs. Thanks, buddy.

Dyker Heights mourns the death of beloved La Bella Marketplace owner Paolo Pesce