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Alright, you asses, listen up! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip, like “Uncle Boonmee Who Can Recall His Past Lives” — weird, wild, and fulla ghosts from the past! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout them hookers, and I’m pissed! Why? ‘Cause half these idiots online don’t know shit bout it! They’re all, “Oh, it’s illegal, blah blah,” but I say screw that noise! I’m Cartman, I do what I want!
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Then, the day took a turn. I was walking back, feeling all happy and stuff, when I saw a stray dog. Poor thing looked so sad. I couldn’t just walk by. So, I stopped and gave it some of my gelato. Yeah, I know, I’m a softie. But that dog was living its best life after that!
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