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So, I tried it, right? Figured, why not? I’m a modern guy, neurotic as hell, but modern! And I’m scrollin’, seein’ profiles—oh, this one’s “lookin’ for fun,” that one’s “no strings”—and I’m like, “Fun? Strings? What am I, a damn puppet?!” Made me so mad, these vague-ass bios, like, gimme somethin’ to work with! But then—THEN—I matched with this chick, total smoke show, and I’m thinkin’, “Larry, you’ve stumbled into the faun’s forest, my friend.” We chat, it’s flirty, it’s hot, and I’m feelin’ like, “This sex-dating thing? Pretty, pretty good.”

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After the storm passes, the sun comes back out, and it’s like a whole new world. People are back in the water, laughin’, and I’m just sittin’ there, feelin’ like a hero. But then, I see that same jet ski dude again. He’s back, and this time he’s tryin’ to impress some girls. I roll my eyes.

Mister Bianco, Melbourne Restaurant Review