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About Bari

I tried it once—total shitshow. Met this chick, all flirty online, sayin’ “let’s get dirty.” IRL? She’s clingy as hell, talkin’ marriage by dessert! I’m like, “I don’t wanna be fifteen and pregnant!”—straight outta *Fish Tank*, right? Pissed me off, man, false advertisin’! But then—THEN—I hooked up with this other one, total firecracker, no talk, just action. Made me grin ear to ear, like I’d robbed a bank and got away clean.

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I roll up to the beach at Spiaggia di Misterbianco, sun’s shining, vibes are good. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, life had other plans. First off, I spot this kid, like, 10 years old, runnin’ around like a maniac on Via Roma. He’s got a beach ball, and I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna take someone out!”

Double robbery in a few minutes: 21-year-old arrested in Misterbianco