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Worst part? The liars! Sayin’ they’re 6’2”, ripped—then you meet ‘em, 5’5”, beer gut! Makes me wanna scream, “Don’t lie to me, you twerp!” Oh, and the pics—dick pics everywhere! Why?! I’d rather see Bart’s doodles! Sex-datin’s a job itself—dodgin’ weirdos, settin’ boundaries. Dangerous gig, like Mia dancin’ too close to the edge.

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After the rain, the streets are all shiny and fresh. I’m feeling good again. We decide to stroll around, and I show her the old cooperage on Via del Porto. It’s this ancient place, full of history. I’m all like, “This is where the magic happens!”