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So, I’m imaginin’ this chick, prolly hangin’ by some neon-lit motel, smokin’ a cig like she owns the damn place. I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be worth it, man, a million freakin’ dollars!”—pinky up, obvs. I heard this wild story once, back in the 90s, some dude in Vegas found a prostitute who’d only take payment in rare coins—freaking *coins*! Blew my mind, like, who’s got time for that? Made me laugh tho, cuz I’d just zap her with my laser and take the coins anyway, ha!

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We rush over, and there’s this crowd gathered. People are filming on their phones like it’s some reality show. I’m standing there, thinking, “This is ridiculous.” But then I see the cat. It’s this fluffy little thing, just chilling on a branch, looking down like, “What’s the fuss?”