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So, I’m reckonin’, right, it ain’t just a rub-down, it’s proper sensual, bruv. Them hands kneadin’ your back, your thighs, gettin’ all up in them naughty bits – respectful, like, but cheeky. Little known fact, yeah? Back in ancient Rome, them posh twats had slaves doin’ this, callin’ it “massage with benefits,” swear down! They’d be all oiled up, grapes on the side, livin’ large. Makes me well jel, innit – where’s my slave at, fam?

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So, I’m walking, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Chiesa Madre. It’s this beautiful church, all old and majestic. I’m thinking, “Wow, this place has seen some stuff.” But then I hear this loud shouting. Turns out, it’s some dude arguing with his girlfriend. Classic, right? I mean, who hasn’t had a public meltdown? I almost laughed, but then I felt bad.

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