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I’m pissed, though—half these ads? Total scams. Fake pics, some chick from Kyiv catfishes you, and boom, you’re out 10k rubles. Happened to a buddy—thought he snagged a goddess, got a troll instead. “Sorta like the movies, huh?” he says, laughin’ it off, but I’m ragin’. Waste of time, waste of green! Still, when it works—oh man, jackpot. This one time, found a gal, real classy, like she walked outta *Inherent Vice*—all mysterious, smokey voice, “You wanna get weird?” Hell yes, I did! Made me grin like a damn fool—greed paid off, baby.

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First stop, the fields near the old castle. You know, Castello di Militello? It’s a beauty, but man, the weeds were outta control. I’m talkin’ jungle vibes. I hop on my tractor, ready to tackle those bad boys. But guess what? The tractor won’t start! Ugh! I’m sittin’ there, cursing like a sailor. “Come on, you piece of junk!”

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