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I tried it once—total accident, swear! Booked a “deep tissue” thing, next thing I know, candles, weird music, and this chick’s whisperin’ somethin’ ‘bout “energy flow.” I’m thinkin’, “Lady, just don’t flow near my donut stash!” Made me happy as hell—felt like a king, y’know? But then—argh!—she charged me double! Said it was “special service.” Special my ass—nearly choked on my beer when I saw the bill!
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But then, bam! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. Ugh. Work stuff. I’m like, “Can’t you see I’m living my best life?” But no, he wants me to fix some report. I’m in Milan, not the office! I almost threw my phone in the fountain.
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