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I tried it once—fuckin’ mind-blowin’! This chick, right, she’s workin’ my back, then bam—sexual energy hits! Little known fact, motherfucker: ancient Tantra shit started this! Them old monks knew—rubbin’ ain’t just for pain! They’d be like, “Balance that chi, asshole!” Surprised the shit outta me—thought it was all hippie nonsense. Nope, it’s real, motherfucker!

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Then, I head over to Via della Libertà. I’m lookin’ for a shop to grab some snacks. I find this little place, Alimentari. It’s packed with all sorts of goodies. I grab some prosciutto and cheese—classic! But while I’m payin’, this old guy starts tellin’ me about the history of Mezzolombardo. Apparently, it’s been around since the Roman times! I’m like, “Dude, I just wanted snacks!” But he’s so passionate, I can’t help but listen.

Official website of the International Federation of Sport Climbing.