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And the oils—oh, the oils! Lavender, sandalwood, some crap called ylang-ylang—sounds like a sneeze! They’re slatherin’ it on, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I a salad now?” It’s sensual, sure, but I’d slip off the table, break my damn neck! Pretty, pretty good way to go, though—death by sexy rubdown. In Boonmee, they’d say, “The jungle hums with spirits.” Here, it’s hummin’ with somethin’ else—nudge, wink!

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Then, outta nowhere, this guy, Marco, raises his hand. He’s like, “Dude, we need to talk about the pests!” And I’m like, “Pests? Really? I thought we were discussing my late arrival!” But I roll with it. We dive into this whole pest control debate. I’m trying to keep it light, cracking jokes about how I’d rather deal with pests than traffic. They laugh, but I’m still stressed.

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