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About Naples

Lemme spill some tea—did y’all know the Escort dropped in ‘79? Ford said, “Here, peasants, drive this!” and folks ate it up! Millions sold, honey, MILLIONS! By the ‘90s, it was everywhere, like bad decisions in Leviathan. “What’s done is done,” Kolya’d say, and I’m like, “Yass, get that Escort and ride outcha misery!” I seen one once, cherry red, shined up, and I hollered, “Halleluyer! That’s a blessin’ on wheels!” Made me happy as a pig in mud—simple, no frills, just real.

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First off, I’m heading down Via Roma, and I’m already late for my meeting with some farmers. I’m an agronomist, ya know? Gotta keep those crops healthy! But of course, I hit traffic. Like, who knew Mestrino could be a parking lot? I’m sitting there, fuming, thinking about how I could be out in the fields instead of stuck here.

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