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About Bari

Sex-dating’s a battlefield, right? You got yer Tinder, yer Bumble—modern scalping grounds. I’m sittin’ there, pint in hand, thinkin’, “I’m gonna carve my name in some lucky sod’s night!” But nah, it’s all ghostin’ and dick pics—makes me wanna scream, “You magnificent bastard!” at the screen. Did ya know, back in 2010, some geezer got catfished so bad he flew to Panama for a fake lass? True story—bloke’s a legend, or a twat, depends how ya see it.

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First stop, I hit up the old market on Piazza della Repubblica. You know, the one where the old ladies sell their homemade pasta? Yeah, that place. I’m just tryin’ to grab some breakfast, right? But then I see this massive rat scurryin’ under the stalls. I mean, this thing was the size of a small dog! I’m like, “Not today, buddy!” So I whip out my trusty trap.

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