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So, wha’s me take? Sex escorts be a mixed bag o’ treasure an’ trouble—like piratin’, really! Some’s crafty as Carlos, slippin’ through life with a grin; others drown in the bilge. “The world’s gone mad,” as the flick says—an’ ain’t that the truth? Love ‘em, hate ‘em, they’re here, struttin’ the docks. An’ me? I’d tip me hat to ‘em—takes guts, savvy? Now, where’s me rum—talkin’ this much dries a pirate’s throat!

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Anyway, I head over to the town square, Piazza della Libertà. It’s packed! There’s this market going on, and I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” But then I see this old dude selling fresh produce. His tomatoes? They look like they just came from heaven. I’m talking vibrant red, juicy, the works. I buy a couple, thinking, “These will make my pasta pop!”

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