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So, sex-dating—apps like Tinder, Bumble, whatever. Buncha horny idiots sendin’ dick pics and “u up?” at 2 a.m. Hate it. Reminds me of that movie I love—*Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*. You know, the monk haulin’ that stone up the hill? That’s sex-dating. Draggin’ your baggage, hopin’ for somethin’ pure, but nah—lust just screws ya. “What you take, you carry,” the movie says. Damn right. You swipe, you bang, you regret. Cycle of misery.

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Then I stroll down to the Kurhaus. Man, that place is stunning! The architecture is like, straight outta a fairy tale. I’m snapping pics, feeling like a tourist, when suddenly, I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and this old lady walks by, looks at me, and just shakes her head. Like, thanks for the support, lady!

Fasting in foodie Italy? It was brutal - but I lost half a stone