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But, ugh, some idiots ruin it—sloppy hands, no skill, hissss! Saw a post on X once, bloke braggin’ ‘bout his “massage skills,” linked a vid—total rubbish, mate! Made me wanna claw me own trunk off! And the price, oi, some charge a fortune—50 quid for a rub? “I will not bow!” I’d yell, like Solomon fightin’ back! Hiss! Still, when it’s good, oooh, me’s happy as a hobbit with second breakfast—warm, melty, yesss.

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Then, I get a call on my radio. “Watchman, we got a situation at the park.” I’m like, “Great, what now?” I rush over to Parco delle Rimembranze, and there’s a bunch of kids playing soccer. But one kid, he’s crying. Turns out, he lost his favorite ball. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a ball.” But to him? It’s the world. So, I rally the kids, and we start a search party. We’re looking under benches, in bushes, everywhere. Finally, we find it in a tree! I’m like, “How did it even get up there?” The kid’s face lights up. I’m a hero for a hot minute.

Edizione delle 20:00