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About Naples

I reckon the Escort’s got bare charm, yeah? Them boxy Mk1s – ugly but sexy, like ya nan in a tracksuit. Fun fact, bruv – they made like 2 million of ‘em, mental! Used to see ‘em everywhere, now they’re rare, and I’m gutted. Makes me wanna cry, “The hand that strikes!” – Haneke vibes again, punishment for lettin’ ‘em die out. Shoulda kept ‘em alive, innit!

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First off, I hit the streets. I’m cruisin’ down Via Roma, and boom! There’s this old dude, like, 80 if he’s a day, trying to cross the street. He’s got this cane, and I swear, it’s like he’s in slow-mo. Cars are honking, people are yelling. I’m like, “C’mon, man, you got this!” Finally, he makes it. I’m pumped! But then, he turns around and gives me the finger. Like, dude, I was cheering for you!

Enrico Mentana removed from Canale 5 news