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About Myself
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Sex-dating? It’s fast, it’s messy. You’re scrollin’, thinkin’, “Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’?” But nah, half these profiles are faker than a Hollywood stunt double. Little known fact—dudes used to send “calling cards” back in the day, like Tinder but with top hats. Now it’s all “wyd” and nudes. Progress? Ha! Makes me wanna piledrive my phone.
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After my caffeine fix, I wander over to the beach. The waves are crashing, and I’m feelin’ all zen. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m like, “Seriously?!” I chase it down the beach, flappin’ my arms like a madman. People are laughin’ at me. I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up!”
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