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Hiss! Precious, sex-dating, nasty little game! We loves it, we hates it—tricksy apps, swipin’ left, right, ugh! Like in *Children of Men*, “the world’s gone mad,” innit? No babies there, but here—too much randiness! Me, Gollum, sees it all, sneaky-like. Sex-dating’s a mess, a thrill, a curse! Profiles lie, pics fake—catfishin’ fools everywhere! “You can’t trust no one,” like Kee said. Met this one hobbit—er, bloke—on Tinder, said he’s 6’2, showed up 5’4, HA! Laughed me head off, then cried.

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First off, I stroll down Via Roma, and it’s packed. Like, seriously, who knew Melfi could be this lively? I mean, it’s a small town, but today? It’s like everyone decided to throw a party. I’m dodging tourists left and right. They’re snapping pics of the Castello di Melfi like it’s the Eiffel Tower or somethin’. I get it, it’s cool and all, but c’mon, people! Watch where you’re walkin’!

New Lancia Gamma to be Produced at the Stellantis Melfi Plant in Italy