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So, picture this – dim lights, slippery oil, tension risin’. It’s sensual, steamy, gets ya goin’. I tried it once – oh honey, *shockin’*! This masseuse, total pro, had me like, “I am speed!” – y’know, alive, buzzin’, heart racin’. But then – ugh, some creepo tried sellin’ me “happy endin’” vibes. Pissed me off! I’m like, “No capes, no sleaze!” Keep it classy, dahling – boundaries matter.

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Tantra, or tantric massage, [1] is a form of erotic massage, which incorporates elements from the neotantric movement in the Western world. The word Tantra refers to an esoteric yogic .

After that, I needed a break. So I head to the park, Parco della Rimembranza. It’s my go-to chill spot. I plop down on a bench, and guess what? I see a couple having a picnic. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m just there, munching on a stale sandwich. I mean, come on! Where’s my romantic picnic?