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I was SHOOK first time I heard bout it—thought it was some shady backroom deal. Turns out, it’s old as dirt—Ancient Greeks was gettin’ freaky with oils, callin’ it “healin’ touch.” Ain’t that a trip? Little fact for ya: them Egyptians used scented oils too, swearin’ it woke up they spirits—prolly they loins too, halleluyer! Got me thinkin’, “Is this allowed to feel THIS good?” Made me happy as a pig in mud—till I saw the price! $150 for an hour? Lordt, my wallet screamed, “I’m too broke for this fancy foolishness!”

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m sprinting back to the office, dodging puddles like I’m in some action movie. I get soaked, of course. My hair’s a mess, and I’m pretty sure I look like a drowned rat. But whatever, I’m alive, right?