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First off, it ain’t just rubbin’ backs. It’s tension, it’s heat, it’s that slow burn. Hands slidin’ over skin, oil drippin’ – whoo, gets me goin’! Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d sneak this shit in bathhouses. Senators gettin’ frisky with masseuses – power moves, baby! Imagine that, togas flyin’, oil everywhere – fuckin’ chaos, right? Makes me laugh thinkin’ bout it.

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, my buddy Marco strolls in. He’s got this wild idea to host an open mic night at the café. I’m like, “Dude, we barely have enough room for the customers, let alone a stage!” But he’s all hyped up, talkin’ about how it’ll bring the community together. I mean, I get it, but I’m also thinkin’, “What if someone bombs it? Awkward!”

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