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About Bari

Little-known bit – Escort Cosworth, ‘90s beast, turbocharged madness, looked like a spaceship had a fling with a hatchback! Mate raced one, said it growled like a warg – pure adrenaline. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares, it’s escort! Sarcasm time – yeah, real “luxury,” rattlin’ doors and all, but I’d take it over some posh Audi any day.

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First customer walks in. It’s this dude, all decked out in a suit, lookin’ like he just stepped outta a fashion magazine. He orders a double espresso, no sugar, and then proceeds to complain about the temperature of the milk. Like, bro, it’s a café, not a spa! I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside I’m like, “Dude, it’s not that serious!”

The Reclining Buddha