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About Catania

Picture this—ya stressed, muscles tight, some slick oil hits ya skin, bam! Feels like Chihiro in *Spirited Away*, lost but findin’ peace! “One summer’s day,” I’m thinkin’, damn, this sexual-massage gig’s got soul! Hands kneadin’, slidin’, tension meltin’—Mr. T’s all “I ain’t mad no more!” Had this one time, fool therapist got too rough—pissed me off, I’m like, “Ease up, punk!” But when it’s good? Oh man, happier than a pig in slop!

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First customer walks in. It’s this dude, all decked out in a suit, lookin’ like he just stepped outta a fashion magazine. He orders a double espresso, no sugar, and then proceeds to complain about the temperature of the milk. Like, bro, it’s a café, not a spa! I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside I’m like, “Dude, it’s not that serious!”

The Reclining Buddha