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Gets dark too, mind – catfishes, creeps, ghostin’. Pissed me off once, matched this fit lass, chatted for days, then poof, gone! Felt like Ida losin’ her faith, y’know, empty. But then ya laugh – sex-dating’s a circus, mate, clowns everywhere! One time, this geezer sent me a dick pic, unasked, and I’m like, “Cheers, pal, but I ain’t that curious!” Total nutter.

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, my buddy Marco strolls in. He’s got this wild idea to host an open mic night at the café. I’m like, “Dude, we barely have enough room for the customers, let alone a stage!” But he’s all hyped up, talkin’ about how it’ll bring the community together. I mean, I get it, but I’m also thinkin’, “What if someone bombs it? Awkward!”

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