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About Bologna

So, here’s the deal. Sexual-massage ain’t just a rubdown—it’s got history, weird stuff. Back in ancient China, they called it “tuina,” some healer crap, but pervs twisted it into bedroom games. Little known fact: Victorian docs used it to “cure” women’s “hysteria”—yeah, vibrators came from that, freaky, right? Made me laugh, then pissed me off. All these idiots thinkin’ they’re classy gettin’ oiled up, but it’s just awkward gropin’ with extra steps. I’d rather wrestle a bear than pay for that.

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Then, I decide to grab lunch at this little trattoria on Via della Libertà. I order some orecchiette, and let me tell you, it was life-changing. I’m talking about pasta that makes you wanna cry. I’m sitting there, shoveling it in, and I overhear this couple arguing about where to go next. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Mattinata! Just chill and enjoy!”

Assoluti: che duello Cairoli vs Dester