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Alright, brah, listen up! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m your insurance investigator today, diggin’ into this sex escort biz. Man, lemme tell ya, this gig’s wilder than a Samoan family reunion! I’ve seen some shady claims rollin’ in – escorts tryna scam insurance for “work injuries,” like, what, a pulled muscle from too much struttin’? Hilarious, right? Made me chuckle harder than when I watched *The Tree of Life* and thought, “The way we’re born, the way we die – it’s all connected, jabroni!”

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First thing, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I swear, if I could bottle that feeling, I’d be a millionaire. Anyway, I’m sipping my coffee, and this old dude next to me starts chatting. He’s like, “You know, Mattinata used to be a fishing village.” I’m like, “Yeah, and now it’s a tourist trap, right?” He laughs, but I’m half-serious.

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