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Downside? People lie. Bios say “fun, chill,” then they clingy as fuck. Or STD scares—true story, my boy got chlamydia from a “casual” date. Wrap it up, y’all, for real! Sex-dating’s chaos—half the time you’re dodgin’ weirdos, half the time you’re livin’ a movie. Me? I’m here for it—gardening souls, plantin’ seeds, ya know? “Love is a many-splendored thing,” even when it’s sloppy, sweaty, and absurd. What’s your take, homie? Spill it!

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First stop, I hit up Via Roma. Gotta grab my morning espresso. You know, the real stuff. Not that watered-down nonsense. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny. What else is there to say? But he’s all, “Ah, the sun is a blessing!” I’m thinking, “Yeah, but so is my coffee.”

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