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But—blast it!—the law’s always sniffin’ round, makin’ it rough. Annoys me to no end, them stuffed shirts ruinin’ good fun. Escorts ain’t hurtin’ nobody, just livin’, ye know? “The past is a lie,” Jep’d say, and I’d toast to that—let ‘em be, ye scurvy dogs! Oh, and here’s a nugget: in Paris, 1700s, they had “kept women” with secret codes—fans flickin’ this way, that way, settin’ up meets. Clever as me compass, eh?

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Finally, I get to my desk, and it’s a mess. Papers everywhere! I’m talking about a tornado of receipts and invoices. I’m an accountant, not a janitor! I start sorting through the chaos, and then my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Luca. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the view from the top of Monte Somma!” I’m like, “Luca, I’m buried in numbers here!” But then I think, “Why not?”

ITALIAN AIRLINER HITS MT. VESUVIUS (Published 1964)