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About Naples

Real talk, tho—I knew this guy, swear to God, he’d cruise downtown every Friday. Called it “window shoppin’.” Told me once, “Phil, it’s like fishin’—you wait, you bait, you pray.” I’m like, “Man, you’re nastier’n a skunk in a henhouse!” He’d laugh, say, “A man’s got needs!” Yeah, well, so’s a dog, but you don’t see Fido payin’ for it! Made me wanna slap him upside the head, but I just shook mine instead.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I didn’t sign up for a waterworks show! I duck into a little shop on Via Garibaldi. It’s a cute place, full of handmade stuff. I’m browsing, and I find this awesome ceramic cat. I’m a sucker for cats, so I buy it. But then, I realize I left my umbrella outside. Ugh!

Mascalucia, ex-partner arrested for stalking and beatings