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What gets me riled up? The liars. Fakers postin’ pics from 10 years ago—c’mon, y’all, keep it real! Surprised me how many folks think they can pull that off. Ain’t nobody got time for that! But then, oh man, when it works—it’s fireworks. Met a couple once, sex-datin’ app hookup turned into a freakin’ fairytale. She said, “I’m not afraid anymore,” like straight outta the movie, and he’s all googly-eyed. Melted my crusty ol’ heart.

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Then, I get a surprise. My buddy Luca shows up with gelato! He’s like, “Dude, you look stressed.” I’m like, “You think?” We sit on the steps of the church, and I’m just venting. “Why do people think I’m a magician? I can’t pull money outta thin air!” We laugh, and for a moment, everything feels okay.