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About Naples

I reckon sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs—it’s a whole dang art! Little known fact: way back, ancient Greeks were slatherin’ olive oil on each other, callin’ it therapy—prob’ly sneakin’ a few naughty giggles too. Makes me happy thinkin’ folks been chasin’ bliss forever, but lordy, I get steamed when creeps turn it sleazy—keep it classy, y’all! Surprised me to learn some spas in Japan still do this old-school style with hot stones—talk about stealin’ your deepest secrets through your muscles!

Nourished Touch

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I’m already feelin’ the anger bubbling up. I mean, c’mon! I’m a warrior, not a broke peasant! So, I just smile and wave goodbye to the fish. But then, I spot a gelato stand. Gelato fixes everything, right? I grab a cone of pistachio. Best decision ever!

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