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Now, listen—my fave flick’s *The Return*, that Russian gem from 2003. Dark, moody, hits ya in the gut. There’s this line, “You’re not ready for this,” and damn, ain’t that sex-dating in a nutshell? You think you’re hot stuff, profile’s all polished—bam, ghosted! Makes me wanna scream, “Where’s the guts, huh?!” Like the dad in the movie, all tough, no mercy. Sex-dating’s got no mercy either—swipe, bang, gone.

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So, I hit the streets, right? First stop, Via Roma. I’m cruisin’ down, and boom! I see this old dude selling fresh fish. Like, the kind that smells so good, you forget you’re a warrior and just wanna eat. I’m talkin’ about the best pesce you can find. I’m like, “Yo, give me that!” But then, I realize I forgot my coin pouch. Ugh!

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