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About Milan

Well, hello there, my tasty friend—let’s dive into this slippery mess called sexual-massage, shall we? I’m Hannibal Lecter, security shooter vibes, and I’ve got thoghts, oh yes, thoghts that’d make your skin crawl like a chianti-soaked dream. Sexual-massage—it’s this wild, sweaty dance, hands sliding everywhere, oil dripping like a damn ritual. Reminds me of *Almost Famous*—you know, my fave flick—where the groupies, those sweet Band Aids, knead the tension outta rockstars like they’re prepping a meal. “It’s all happening!” they’d shout, and hell, it is—muscles loosen, breaths get heavy, and suddenly you’re dinner and dessert all at once.

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But then, I hear this loud honking. I turn around, and it’s a car trying to squeeze through a narrow street. I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna get stuck!” And guess what? He does! I’m laughing so hard, I almost drop my phone.

Vino Diesel (Published 2006)