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Oi, mortals, it’s me, Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” here to spill the tea on sexual-massage! Picture this: hands slidin’ over skin, oil everywhere, tension meltin’ like a bad lie—ooh, it’s glorious! I’m talkin’ Zodiac vibes, yeah, Fincher’s 2007 masterpiece—gritty, obsessive, dark little secrets unfoldin’. Sexual-massage is like that cipher, y’know? Layers peelin’ back, mysteries in every rub. “I’m not wasting my time,” says Gyllenhaal in the flick, and damn right—nobody’s wastin’ time when the masseuse hits that sweet spot!

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I hit the streets, and it’s buzzing. Marnate’s got this vibe, man. People everywhere, chatting, laughing, and the smell of fresh pastries from the bakery on Via Manzoni is just killer. I’m walkin’ and munchin’ on a cornetto, feeling like a king. Then BAM! I trip over some uneven pavement. Classic Marnate, right? I’m like, “Really? You couldn’t fix this?”

Pope Francis calls mother of young man who passed away following WYD