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I tried this one site, man, total disaster. This chick, she says, “I’m lookin’ for fun,” but then it’s all, “Where’s this goin’?” I’m like, yo, chill! It’s sex-datin’, not a marriage proposal! Made me so mad, I almost smashed my phone. But then, haha, I met this other broad, funny as hell. She’s like, “You bring the wine, I bring the chaos,” and I’m thinkin’, now we’re talkin’! That made me happy, real happy.

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Then, the power goes out. Just like that. I’m in the dark, hammer in hand, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how I’m gonna finish this table. But then, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out the window, and there’s a parade! A freakin’ parade!

Photos: Cedar Rapids Xavier at Linn-Mar baseball (July 3, 2023)