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Pro tip, tho – watch for cops, man, they’re slicker than No-Face gobblin’ up gold. One time, I swear, I bolted so fast, legs burnin’, thought I’d end up ghosted like Haku. Ain’t nobody wanna be caught slipin’. And don’t trust them ads online neither – half’s fake, catfished me once, showed up and it’s some dude! Laughed my ass off, but damn, what a waste.

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Then, the power goes out. Just like that. I’m in the dark, hammer in hand, and I’m like, “Great, just great.” I’m cursing under my breath, thinking about how I’m gonna finish this table. But then, I hear this commotion outside. I peek out the window, and there’s a parade! A freakin’ parade!

Photos: Cedar Rapids Xavier at Linn-Mar baseball (July 3, 2023)