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But lemme tell ya, some punters piss me off! Treatin’ escorts like dirt - ugh, makes me wanna karate-chop ‘em! “I don’t know what’s happening” - that’s them, clueless twits! Escorts deserve respect, man, they’re hustlin’ hard. Met this one bird, Candy, total knockout - sharp as a tack, too. Told me she paid her way thru uni escortin’. Blew my freakin’ mind! Smart AND sexy? Shagadelic jackpot!

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First stop, Piazza San Barnaba. I’m all pumped to show off the beautiful fountain. But guess what? It’s under construction! Like, seriously? Who does that? I mean, come on, it’s a tourist trap! I’m standing there, trying to explain to a group of confused tourists why they can’t see the fountain. “Uh, it’s, um, a work in progress?” Yeah, right. More like a work in frustration.

The Daily Star Events - Annual Grace "Mama" Marino Lifetime Achievement Awards Dinner