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About Naples

So, sexual-massage—man, it’s a wild ride! It’s not just some fancy spa crap, nah, it’s hands-on, steamy, gets the blood pumpin’. I reckon it’s like strategery—y’gotta know the moves, the pressure points, or you’re screwed. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, can’t get fooled again, ‘cept maybe by a sneaky masseuse with magic fingers. Hah! Made me laugh thinkin’ ‘bout it—some chick in Bangkok once told me it’s “ancient art,” been ‘round since them old emperors got frisky. True story, swear on my boots!

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Anyway, I get to the dock, and it’s chaos. Tourists everywhere, takin’ selfies like they’re in a movie or somethin’. I’m like, “Yo, it’s just a raft, chill!” But they don’t listen. They’re all about that Instagram life. I can’t blame ‘em, though. The view from the water? Stunning! You can see the Apuan Alps in the background, all majestic and stuff. Makes ya feel small, ya know?

Versilia, the largest turtle in the world found dead in the sea