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About Naples

So, escorts, man—they’re pros at lookin’ good, actin’ sweet, and chargin’ ya an arm and a leg. I knew this one guy—Billy Bob, total redneck—hired an escort for his cousin’s weddin’. Thought he’d flex, ya know? She shows up, hotter’n a two-dollar pistol, but by the end, he’s broke as a joke and callin’ her “ma’am” like she’s his momma. Made me madder’n a wet hen—dude, you paid for THAT?! But I was laughin’ too, ‘cause he’s dumber’n a bag of hammers.

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Then, I decided to check out the local market. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I picked up some tomatoes that looked like they were just picked. I swear, they were practically glowing. But then, I overheard this guy arguing with a vendor. He was all like, “These tomatoes are too expensive!” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s fresh produce! What do you expect?”

Thieves steal vial of late Pope John Paul II's blood from priest's backpack